Sunday, January 29, 2006

The Blast Furnace for January 29, 2006, Super Bowl Bound Edition

Red up your house! Putting a gumband around the week that was, here’s the The Blast Furnace for January 29, 2006, Super Bowl bound edition.

1. Rocky Mountain High. If you are a Bronco fan, the Steelers 34-17 win was butt ugly.

2. Gladys Bettis. Jerome’s mom takes over from Mama McNabb as the NFL’s top mom.

3. Lemieux Adieu Part Deux. Thanks for the 77 Goals and 152 assists since coming back in December 2000.

4. Mozart turns 250. This means his deeper cuts will have to finally come out of heavy rotation on DVE.

5. Seattle. Instead of playing the Super Bowl in some place sunny and warm Pittsburgh and Seattle should play in a cold, gray, damp, drizzly place…oh yeah, they are.

6. I’m So Vannoyed. What happens when a kid screams for attention and then his adult supervision behaves even more immaturely? Joshua Vannoy knows...1 week of constant news coverage.

7. Seven. The parents of Seven didn’t get that name passing an Eighty-Four Lumber, they got it from “Seinfeld.” As Jerry put it, “Seven? Yeah I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly Seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you’re doing that child quite a service.”

8. The Bride Will Wear White. The Steelers have worn white in only one of their 4 previous Super Bowl wins, Super Bowl IX in 1975. While they wore black in their next 3 Super Bowl victories (X, XIII, and XIV), they did wear black during their only Super Bowl loss, Super Bowl XXX.

9. You’re fired. Republican candidate Bill Scranton sacks campaign manager James Seif after Seiff calls Lynn Swann a “rich white guy.” Swann responds by waving his terrible towel, pointing to the polls and reminding everyone that he does ballet too.

10. Poor No More. Povertyneck Hillbillies play Steeler Super Bowl pep rally in front of 30,000, sign deal with Rust records.


Read more Blast Furnace:
January 22, 2006
January 15, 2006

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