Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Blast Furnace for February 12, 2006...

Putting a gum band around the week that was, here's The Blast Furnace for February 12, 2006, "What are we going to do with the rest of the year?" edition?

1. One for the thumb. Pittsburgh wins Super Bowl XL at X:XII on II/V/VI, its first in XVI years and Vth overall, following IV in VI years in the LXXs, Superbowl IX, X, XIII, and XIV.
2. Bus goes to the garage. Jerome Bettis rolls into retirement through Detroit, Disney World, a Pittsburgh and Leno. Don’t worry Bus, retirement can be more lucrative than your career, just ask a PAT operator.
3. Beard-lisberger. David Letterman shaves Ben Roethlisberger’s beard (brought to you by Gilette!) despite being one of the few Super Bowl winning QB’s to have a passer rating lower than his age.
4. A-Ward winning. Hines Ward goes from training camp holdout to Super Bowl MVP in 19 games.
5. Front runner. Republican officials’ questionable calls cost the Seahawks…I mean Bill Scranton the Republican nomination for Governor. Lynn Swann says “I made the plays I needed to win. I didn’t make James Seif drop the ball.”
6. Boscov’s. New Reading-based retailer coming to 2 vacated Kaufmann’s locations. Boscov’s competes with boring department stores by being an old-fashioned and boring department store.
7. Vitale-ity. ESPN’s Dick Vitale watches the Pitt Panther basketball team stay undefeated at home by beating West Virginia on Thursday. Enthusiastic fans allegedly draw distinctive trio of hypocycloids on his bald spot.
8. Destination Downtown. 250,000, some of whom hadn’t been downtown in 26 years, line Fifth and Liberty to celebrate
9. Little G. Jiwa Hati, the Pittsburgh Zoo (and don’t forget PPG) Aquarium’s new baby orangutan was born on Friday, takes a look around and immediately asks, “Hey, did I miss something?”
10. PTSD. Post Triumphant Super Bowl Disorder, Pittsburgh’s strange new disease. What do we have to with the next 5 months until training camp begins.

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