Sunday, February 05, 2006

The Blast Furnace for February 5, 2006, Super Bowl Sunday Edition

Red up yer house, put on your black and gold, putting a gumband around the week that was, here's The Blast Furnace for February 5, 2006, Super Bowl Sunday edition.

1. The Ohio Turnpike. For once the road to the Super Bowl goes through Cleveland.

2. Big Ben's Bender. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is one of the rare 23 year old men that drinks and woos women. Hey, Jeff Reed's the one that drinks milk.

3. Steeler Baby. Primanti sandwich slurping, fight song singing Steeler Baby becomes Pittsburgh's youngest celebrity since Christina Aguilera.

4. Marty Mc-Going. Mellon Financial CEO Martin McGuinn names his successor, Nova Scotian Robert Kelly, who may become Pittsburgh's highest paid Canadian non-professional athlete.

5. Bus' Banquet. Casey "Big Snack" Hampton's
3 plates lead the Steeler charge as Gladys comes through with a Super Feast.

6. Foote Bawl. In his old high school, Steelers LB is a football hero, and a big softie.

7. Antkowi-whacked. (Ominous voice-over) Coming up at 11. Which KDKA news anchor was involved in this rear end collision between her SUV and a Port Authority Bus, and is she alive?

8. The Tweak. Where were you when you heard Steeler free safety Troy Polamalu "tweaked" his ankle? Did your heart skip a beat?

9. Over-shadowed. Phil sees his shadow and pees on the Terrible Towel. Has a groundhog ever had a worse week. Gus may get his chance to shine next year.

10. Porter mouth. Joey Porter channels the aggression of Steeler Nation. "We're going to try to tap out as many [Seahawks] as we can....make them quit, send them to the sidelines...That's all you need to know. Every chance we get to tap somebody out, that's what we're going to do."


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